Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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