I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
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