Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
