stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
