any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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