At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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