Having a random hookup so left but love u
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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