So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
he puts the penis in happiness.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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