.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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