the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
