she was so not down for the gang bang
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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