Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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