last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
