I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
