So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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