Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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