But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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