carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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