Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
