Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
