I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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