What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
