You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
