Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
