im having a threesome with these popsicles
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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