we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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