We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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