I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
