I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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