so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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