life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
