Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.

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(660): View more from Missouri

i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.

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(540): View more from Virginia

it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on

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(310): View more from California

I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.

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(817): View more from Texas

I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid

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(618): View more from Illinois

he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock

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(651): View more from Minnesota

fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me

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