i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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