And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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