yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
