its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
