i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
