That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
