I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
