it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
