sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
