i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
