if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
