just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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