i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
