We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Sorry about my life...
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
