Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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