she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
