All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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