Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
